I need to come back to something.
To myself. To my own voice. To steadiness.
I feel like I’ve spent the last couple of years thinking that I was finding myself, only to lose myself in something else altogether. Which sounds really over dramatic, but probably just comes down to the fact that I let myself work too much.
I don’t know how to push the words around right now. So much of the stories that I am living and walking through aren’t mine to tell. So much sticks in my throat.
I’m sifting through pieces of me that are less than flattering. A desire to feel important. This tendency to unbalance. Flaws in the ways I relate to people I care about.
And so I find myself coming back to this space where I have thought and wrestled and processed.
I don’t know how to push the words around. But I hope that maybe this might again be a space where through my words, I will find my way home.