It’s been a while since I’ve written here even for a Five Minute Friday, but when I saw the prompt sitting here bleary-eyed in a hotel room( after driving for hours last night trying to find one that had an open room) on our way back to the NIH for testing, I knew I had to write this one.
I’m sitting at a desk in a hotel three-quarters of the way through the state of Ohio headed back to the NIH for testing and a general ‘check-up.’ I have not been thrilled about this trip. But I write the script of this story and instead of ‘trip to the NIH for testing’ I can frame it as ‘Road trip with my husband with time in an MRI tube as bonus.’
Before going this direction I returned to my home town to drop my kiddos off with their grandparents. As I was driving the back roads home from the grocery store watching the glory of a hot and humid Illinois sunset–a Glowing Red Orb hovering over the horizon which is flat as the lines on a piece of notebook paper–It occurred to me:
Things have been hard. Yes, they have. My story has been one with twists and turns I never imagined, with plot lines that stretched me to near bursting. With words that were hard to pronounce. Deployment and grief and unexpected illness.
But right now–here–in this part of the story. I am happy. I am! Happy! Happy to have gotten through what I have. Happy for the growth God has wrought in me as a result. Happy that I continue to learn how to persevere even in the midst of challenges and uncertainties. And happy that because these challenges have knocked at my door, life feels richer, I am stronger, and with halting steps and stumbles I continue living this story, learning to co-author it with God with my own flair and trust in His sometimes breath-stealing plot lines. I continue to learn how to see.