It’s Five Minute Friday… Where we write with Lisa Jo for the joy of words for just five minutes without over-thinking or over-editing or squashing out the joy of the craft.
I spent the evening looking at artists’ renderings of the female form. Paintings of Aphrodite, of Venus. Artists’ renderings of women reclining, or sitting, or standing. (What? How did you spend your Thursday evening?!)
After four months… scratch that–a lifetime… of striving, counting, weighing, longing, and failing, I’ve had a break through. I began to read a book called Healthy at Every Size. I became cognizant of the lies I have believed about myself and the relationship that I have had with food. Craving it, delighting it, using it to satisfy… Hating it, measuring my worth and morality and value by it and the restraint of my consumption of it.
I’m done. There is another way. A more excellent way. A way of love. There is a way to pursue health, and life, and to taste the goodness of food and to revel in the beauty of who I am because of Whose I am.
I am not so unlike those artist’s renderings of Aphrodite. I am curvaceous, voluptuous. I am ample enough to be a vessel of life… of my husband’s pleasure.
To see this… To begin ever so haltingly to own this is a gift. A gift I’ve never known.
I am not a pants size or a number on a scale. God does not look at me and see my fatness or thinness. My husband does not require that I be a photoshopped, bony waif to delight in me.
I am Aphrodite. I am ample life-giver. I am beautiful. I am created in the image of the Beauty that sustains all life…. That has created all life. And I don’t want to spend another day shrinking away from the abundance that He’s given me in this skin that I’m in.