The Skin I’m In

I do so love just writing for five minutes and five minutes only.  I love having a topic and letting my brain curl around it a little.  And then I love reading the ways that other people’s brains have curled around it.  So that’s why I’m back with another Five Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama.  She asks us to just write for five minutes straight without worrying about editing or polishing.

 

Older

Ever since my Mom died at 59, way too young as far as I was concerned, I determined that I will NOT mourn my birthdays

Just the same, I expected more out of the journey of aging than I’ve gotten so far.

A friend of mine told me once that she loved the decade of “30.”  The thirties, she said, were a time when she finally felt comfortable in her own skin.  So for about a decade, I looked forward to the 30s so I too could start enjoying this skin that I’m in a bit more.

Well, 30 was a doozy birthday this year, what with having my third little cherub for only a few weeks and being a month away from having a tumor out and just in general being knee-deep in bigness and angst.

And I can say that I feel far less comfortable in my skin at this point than I expected.

I have hope though.  I’m talking to God about a lot of it, trying to deal with a lot of it, I’m working on it.  I have moments of spacious breathing and feeling ok right where I am.  I have moments where I get outside of my ever-whirring brain and smell the scent of the air and the squeezes of my kids and just soak in it.

So maybe, just maybe it’s not something that ‘magically happens’ when you have that third-decade birthday.  Maybe instead it’s a process…  the very one I’m tuning into right now.

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8 thoughts on “The Skin I’m In

  1. Hello Shoeless Girl (don’t quite know what else to call you)

    Hopped over from the Gypsy Mama’s. I have a few decades on you, young lady, but I can affirm that it is indeed a process. Enjoyed reading about yours . . . hope your spacious breathing, feeling OK moments increase and you feel His arm around your shoulder.

  2. I thought I’d “have it all figured out” in my thirties, but as I approach 40 (40?!?), I realize that it is indeed a process, just as you’ve said. God is refining me day by day, making something beautiful from the ashes. From peeking around on your blog, I’d say He’s doing the same for you, and it is glorious!

    I’m so glad you found my blog, so I could in turn find yours. What a blessing to read your words today. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts.

  3. I think you are right- it’s a process, and one that we start when we reach that age of beginning to accept. But the acceptance happens over time rather than all at once.

    I enjoyed your post!

    Stopping by from They Gypsy Mama.

  4. Happy belated birthday! Having just hit thirty yesterday, I’m so excited about how far along I’ve come, especially with being comfortable in my own skin, and yet, like you said, I see how much of a process it is. I am so glad that God is continuing on this good work in us. 🙂

  5. i didn’t know where to send this so I’m putting it here! thanks for blessing me!
    Hi!

    I have sent on the Versatile Blogger Award to you! I love your blog and follow all your posts. Here is the link to my post: http://herspaciousplace.blogspot.com/2011/08/woo-hoo-i-love-my-new-shiny-gift.html with the information about the Versatile Blogger Award, should you decide to pass it on.

    Thanks for your blog, it really blesses me!!

    :),
    shannon

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