What does He think?

I’m struggling these days.  My frustrations with my undone laundry, messy house, and doubts about my job at this mama gig have been mentioned repeatedly here for a reason.  I know I’m not managing my time well, I fear I’m not managing my children well, and my house…  Well let’s just not go there, how about?

As I said a few days ago I have all of these sweeping plans to reform myself.  They aren’t necessarily instant perfection plans either.  They’re all about baby steps.  But I seem to need more of a ‘crawling regimen’ or maybe a ‘creep/flop, creep/flop’ kind of move like Lainey was doing before she mastered the crawling skill.

When I’m in seasons like this it’s hard to walk tall, feel confident, and believe that I have anything worth offering.  Sometimes I’m held captive and thus inactive as a result of the doubts that I am trying to fend off.

In the face of the resounding thud which comes from the ‘flop’ part of the ‘creep/flop’ strategy and the very loud play ground bullies that sometimes reside in my self-talk, I find myself needing to ask God one very important question:

“What do YOU think?”

If I am to do all that I do to His glory–what kind of feedback does God have for me?  One of the questions I’ve been asking Him specifically is, “Can you please, pretty please, help me to see a few of the ways I’m making progress in the “creep” realm?”  Can you please point out just a few things that I do as a mother and as a woman that make you smile?

That helps me get my focus off of the playground bullies in my head and onto where I need to focus to be.  And it gives me just enough encouragement to want to keep on trying.

I hope that one day I can look back on this season of my life with grace and compassion for myself.  I hope that I can look back and see that I was doing better than I thought I was.  Until I get to that perspective though, I’m going to try to keep my ears tuned to the voice of God and His eternal perspective.

If I do that maybe my “creep/flop” moves will eventually turn into a full-statured stride.

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3 thoughts on “What does He think?

  1. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in the ark of creep/flop, creep/flop. I’ve got another teaspoon for bailing water with you.

    When the water still seems to get a little deeper than I’d like, I imagine the good Lord handing me balloons and a funnel. There’s nothing like a good water balloon fight to get me back to seeing my teaspoon really IS making progress even if it feels like it is too slow for MY time table. The water balloons are distributed on HIS time table. 🙂

    Although I also have to admit that teaspoons and peas at the dinner table were a good combination in my past, too… just don’t look too closely at that phase of my maturity, wifely, motherly or housekeeping skills, thank you very much.

  2. The kind of feedback God has for you comes through a friend and fellow mum. . . the few things that you do as a mother that make God smile are the smiles and joy he sees on your girls faces . . .He sees happy, REALLY HAPPY faces at the beach, smelling tulips, going for walks, blowing out candles, taking naps and just being kids! He says “Well done good and faithful servant”

    I love you my friend! Now start loving yourself!
    Denise

    My God doesn’t see dust or piles of laundry and neither does yours!

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