Rules for Going to the Beach With Three Children

1) It will take 20-30 minutes longer to get ready to leave than you expect. And you will always have to go back to get something. Twice.

2) One of the children will insist on taking a kid-powered vehicle along: Bicycle, Tricycle, Scooter… It varies. Reasonable parent (in this case, me) will always be suckered into taking it when the children promise to meet thet stern requirement of: You ride it down, you ride it back, Mommy will NOT carry it.

3) One of the chlidren will take off shoes and bury their feet in wet sand despite the fact that they have been warned that doing so will result in chafed and hurting feet on the walk home.

4) While at the beach someone will need to potty. Invariably, a parent will, at some point, be used as a human shield for a child squatting in the driftwood, doing their business and/or changing out of articles of clothing that have been soiled.

5) One of the children will always fill their pockets so full of rocks and treasures that they weigh a full five pounds more upon leaving than they did coming.

6) An emotional attachment will be made to a piece of driftwood which will be affectionately called, “Walking Stick.” There will be tears and hysterics upon the mere suggestion of leaving beloved “Walking Stick” for someone else to discover and utilize.

7) Slimey things will be discovered and pulled from the water and/or beach. The accompanying parent will need to be impressed and dazzled at these stellar scientific discoveries.

8) Upon leaving, children will discover that they cannot maneuver both the beloved driftwood and kid-powered vehicle. Suckered parent will be lured in to trouble shoot.

9) Before the trail home has been half-way traversed the, now beleaguered parent will be pushing a stroller, carrying a scooter or other kid-powered vehicle (despite the sternly issued agreement made in item number 2), juggling the beloved “walking stick”, and holding the hand of a wimpering child who feels that ‘they are so far away that they might as well be lost’ unless they are touching said beleaguered parent.

10) The baby will cry the whole way home.

11) It wil still always be worth it to go. Memories will always be made. And children will always sleep better that night.


One thought on “Rules for Going to the Beach With Three Children

  1. Memories are priceless, but put your foot down about leaving the “walking stick” at the beach so that the previous agreement can be kept. This teaches them that their word should be binding and keeps excess items from coming home. šŸ™‚

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