All is still very tender around here. Healing is still hard. The mending that needs to happen in our family is still hard. And disciplining our children, especially Little Miss, can just be so exhausting.
I feel wrung out, and down, and I’m not entirely sure why.
We’re hosting Thanksgiving for some friends of ours on Thursday, and even though I’m feeling ‘off’ I’m very much looking forward to that. It’s become a tradition for us. I’m suprised that I’ve discovered that I love cooking up a storm for people, having them over, sharing our favorite dishes and making family when we can’t be with our own. This will be our last Thanksgiving with our friends, Jamie and Todd. I told Husband the other day that I hate that because Jamie and Todd HAVE BEEN our family for almost all the time we’ve been here. It will be bittersweet to know that this will be our last Holiday together before they leave the Navy and discover what else life holds for them. Such is the nature of life and friendship in transient military communities.
I find myself drawn to anything warm–not so much for physical comfort, as for emotional… I HAVE to have a fire burning in the stove, I make tea, or cider several times a day. I’ve baked non-stop for over a month now. Christmas music makes me feel warm and I can’t wait to turn it on. In the meantime, I’m pinch-hitting with Aaron Copland.
I want to jot out a pithy little post, or an inspiring one, or a Thankfully Thanksgiving one, but I find myself just out there on the edge… Wrung out, tired, and thoroughly muddling. God is in the muddling. It is a healing kind of muddling. All is well. I am just tender and tired.