I thought I’d hit all the firsts after losing my Mom. Over three years has gone by (how is THAT possible?). I’ve come along way from that first year where everything was new and tender.
And then there was election night.
If you didn’t know my Mom, you would think that was a weird event to miss someone over. It’s not Christmas or Thanksgiving or some other warm Family-oriented time. But my mother loved politics. She stayed informed and abreast of the issues and had an opinion–generally a fiery one–about all things political. She cared passionately about this country and who was running it and there was nothing that she loved better than a little political sparring. This last election season would have been like one long Bears game to her. There would have been a lot of yelling. A lot of jumping up and down. A lot of excitement. And plenty of commentary.
So to see history being made last night, to see a candidate that she would have whole-heartedly supported elected especially after the last eight years when she was and would have continued to be fit to be tied, to not be able to call her when the announcements that we had a new history-breaking president elect were made…. It was awful.
I miss my Mom. I miss who she was. I miss her fire and passion. I miss the way she challenged me to think about the issues. I miss how much she cared.
I miss sharing things like this with her.
I miss her. And no matter the reason, it still sucks. So while the rest of the world celebrates our new president-elect, or cowers in fear about what the next four years may hold, I still have to hold down my spot in this little place here. This place that says my Mom should be here seeing this, and she isn’t.