5 a.m.  Tender, swollen glands.  Wear out easy.  I feel like crud.  Leaving on a 14 hour trip with a 3 hour shuttle, two plain rides, lay over, and one more hour long car ride to go back for the funeral.

Please pray.


Sometimes They Do Take Care of You

I complain about Husband’s squadron a lot (and I think I have some reason to), but in the five years we’ve been with them, they’ve been good to us in moments of crisis:  Good in ways that I don’t know how to say thank you for.  Good in ways that I know I can’t take for granted.

When my Gramma W died, Husband was on a stay-back crew for a detachment.  That means that part of his squadron was gone, but he and a few others stayed put to hold down the fort.  We made a Red Cross call that time, and his chief allowed him special liberty so that we could make a whirlwind trip to Idaho and I could feel that I was somewhat a part of things since the services were in IL, and I was 39 weeks pregnant and not comfortable flying back (I’d do it in a heartbeat, now by the way;)). 

Husband was supposed to leave for another detachment days after Little Miss was born.  We thought at that point that we would be spending a year or more apart with me spending the majority of my time after that detachment back in IL spending time with my Mom and helping to care for her.  We worked every channel we could for him to have some time with Little Miss.  Another chief found a way for him to stay back and attend a school so that he could be excused from that detachment, and we were given 8 sweet weeks together as a new family.

A few days after Mom signed onto Hospice, when it became clear that time was very short, I made another Red Cross call (I’ve made LOTS of Red Cross calls), and Husband was flown back a few days early from the detachment he was on, and was able to make it back in time to say Goodbye to my Mom.  She died a few hours after his arrival, I believe because she knew that he was there to take care of me.

And now, since maintenence will be winding down and probably partly because this is Husband’s very last detachment with this squadron, they are going to fly him off the boat again so that he can come and be with me for Gramma’s funeral.

I know this is far and above what most people experience.  Believe me I do.  And lest the green-eyed monster afflicts anyone, I can assure you I’ve waded through my share of heartache and crisis without him… 

But in the midst of this hard time, and a few others, this squadron that has often infuriated me beyond belief…  That works their crew like dogs, keeps a breakneck pace at all times, and frequently makes calls that lead many to scream Whisky Tango Foxtrot…  In the midst of some times when I really needed something or someone to come through for us, they’ve gotten my husband by my side.  I’m so thankful for that.

God Be With You Til We Meet Again

God be with you ’til we meet again

By his counsels guide uphold you

With his sheep securely fold you

God be with you til we meet again.

Til we meet, Til we meet. 

Til we meet at Jesus feet.

Til we meet, Til we meet.

God be with you til we meet again.



Gramma died tonight at 10:35.

I had a feeling it wouldn’t be long when we visited her on Thursday.  She was sitting at breakfast, but entirely unresponsive.  She had her hands folded in her lap, clenched together, and she was bent over like she was trying to fold into herself.  Her body was so visibly tired that I knew it must be wearing out, and I had the sense that she was finding that central place of letting go.  I think she was doing things on her own terms.  She didn’t want to be in the nursing home.  She was in pain.  She wanted to be done, and so she was….  Less than a week shy of her 93rd birthday.

As for me, it seems like the roll of the detachment dice landed on, “Once more for old time’s sake.”  One more death to do by myself.  I won’t bore you with the laundry list, but detachments and deployments are notorious times for our family to get the worst kind of news.  I guess this last one couldn’t go out without something.  That all sounds incredibly bitter.  I really don’t feel that way.  Mostly I just feel matter of fact.  I made the The Red Cross notification call, and I’m mulling over what to do about the funeral.  We just got home from going to see Gramma yesterday evening.  She apparently expressed that she thought it silly for people to travel long distances for funerals and so she thought that I should stay where I was for hers.  On the one hand, I believe in honoring people’s wishes.  On the other, I’d like to be there to grieve with my family.

Anyway.  My Grammy is gone.  My last remaining grandparent.  My heart will continue singing, “God Be With You,” the song that I sang with Gramma, and the whole congregation, holding hands at the Walnut Grove Methodist Church every Sunday I went with her. 

God Be With You Til We Meet Again, Gram.

Whirlwind Update

Gram is very weak, but hanging in there, Dad doesn’t have cancer, and a rip-roaring classic batch of Illinois thunderstorms have kept me in IL til the end of the week. Also, I don’t have an ear infection, but my ear sure does hurt, I got to tack on another ER visit to find that out, I really love the movie 28 Days, ‘John Knox’ and tornadoes makes me laugh, Yellow Roses and Milkshakes Day went off smashingly, and there are a few people in my life that are always such surprising blessings that I’m blown away upon each meeting of them.

Oh and how can I forget that Little Miss’s first movie theater experience was a bust, but she is beginning to swim like a little guppy?

I miss my husband, and I can’t wait until this LAST one is done.

My kids are adorable, amazing, and exasperating as always. And yes, I am dreading the incredibly long day of travel that I have ahead of me to get home. At least this maybe will be one of the last days of solo-travel in my near future. I hope so at least.

And, yes, I’ve been to Steak-n-Shake.

That pretty much sums up the last week and a half.

Any questions?

A New Crusade

I know I don’t use the English language correctly all the time.  In fact, you could probably find several major botch-ups in every single post, including this one, if you really, really tried.

One word that I really, intensely dislike is, “impactful.”

The first time I heard it, I said, “Is that a real word?”

When I found it online at, I was very, very disappointed.

I was vindicated today however when I learned that ‘impactful’ only made it into the dictionaries after people started wrongly saying it.

Which means that it’s really not a word.  Or at least it shouldn’t be. 


And so I launch my crusade against the word ‘Impactful.’  Care to join me?


Ready for some bits of randomness?

  • The laundry I have to do today, if stacked up, would be taller than me.  But it must be done so we can go to IL tomorrow.
  • Baboo is getting quite a vocabulary, and I’m really surprised her language is coming on so quickly.  She says, “What’s this?”  “This”  “That” “Nooooo” “Sissy”  “Kitty”  “Kitty Cat” “Mama”  “Dada,” and several variations of “Mine,” among other things that I’m not remembering.  Of course, I guess really she needs all those words to keep her big sister from dominating and domineering over all aspects of her life.
  • The crazies, as usual, are multiplying.  But you don’t want me to go there.
  • The Nurse Manager from Urgent Care called me today to let me know that my ICE survey was being passed along to Dr. Personality, and that she appreciated my feedback.  This means that either 1)  If I ever have to see him again he will treat me like the queen of England or 2)  My next round of antibiotic will be spiked with arsenic.  Stay tuned, my friends, for future installments of “The Adventures of Urgent Care.”  Incidentally, she mentioned that other staff members found him to be rather ‘short’ as well.  I guess it wasn’t just me.
  • Little Miss dressed up in one of her froofiest dresses today, and put the top black-peak cushion thing, that came off her car seat and somehow or another made it inside, onto her head today and danced to the teeny-bopper version of “Kiss the Girl” four times through.  So. Incredibly. Cute.
  • My fankle is much better, and the rainbow colors upon it have been fabulous.
  • One of my two wonderful and amazing sisters-in-law sent me a box full of books today:  Several of which she gave to our Mom’s group for a book study (how cool is that?!), and a few just for us.  Not to mention, she tucked in a couple of very sweet magazine articles bookmarked for us.  I am praying for an opportunity to spoil back her at some juncture in the future.
  • In a couple of hours we’re going to go look at a little house that has become available for rental.  It has a lovely yard and almost feels like the country, but it would be much closer to all of the ‘in-town’ things that we are currently spending lots of gas-money on to get to.  I’m praying for wisdom about whether we should stay put or jump at the chance of a new home.  Maybe that will satisfy my gypsy-itcch.  ***update***  Apparently TODAY they’ve had three different applications.  So we’ll keep the appointment, and decide whether or not we want to apply…  and figure that the chips probably aren’t going to fall with this house in our hands.  Oh well…  *sigh*
  • Husband took me on a very romantic date at the beach on base this weekend where we had a picnic.  The funniest part was that when we came back to our van, an MA was waiting for us.  I have no idea how long he was there, but he apparently waited there for a bit so that he could inform us that the road to the beach was closed on weekends and we weren’t technically supposed to be there.  What’s even funnier is that while we were picnicking and Mr. MA was waiting for us to get back to the goobermobile, we watched six different people walk onto base simply by walking along the beach.
  • I’m looking forward to seeing my Grammy, and I’m looking forward to seeing Dad and his lovely wife and hugging everybody and making sure everyone is really ok.  But I am also looking forward to swimming in their swimming pool….  Oh I cannot wait to swim.  My two little fishes will be sure to enjoy it also.
  • Husband’s last Detachment starts this week.  It really is ‘ONLY two weeks’ this time…  And then we’re done with Dets.  And the adventures of Shore Duty will begin.  My anxiousness is giving way to excitement.  How cool will it be to just have him home?!
  • I made a batch of REALLY wonderful White Chocolate Blondies this weekend.  I mean, I think they tasted better than Applebee’s blondies, and that’s saying something since I believe Applebee’s blondies to be something akin to a religious experience.  THAT recipe is definitely a keeper.
  • I should probably get back to laundry and packing now.