Just Break My Heart…

Little Miss asked for some extra snuggles for bed tonight.  I curled her up against my chest and rocked her back and forth.  She started sniffing.  I heard that tearful sound in her voice.

“Daddy…  I want Daddy…..  Mama, I want to snuggle with Daddy.”

We called him.  They chatted.  She sniffed some more, and choked back tears.  I held her close and reminded her of the fun things we have to look forward to before Daddy comes home.  I told her it was ok to cry when we miss Daddy.  It hurts and it’s ok to feel that…..

I went to our room and got one of Husband’s shirts, brought it to Little Miss who snuggled it up next to her face and held it as tight as she could.  I checked in on her one last time just now and she had put on Daddy’s shirt to finally settle down to sleep.

There are so many milestones in the life of a child.  First steps, first words, first time they say I love you.

This was the first one that broke my heart:  the first time she articulated her feelings about Daddy being away.

These are the moments when this lifestyle feels like a sacrifice.  It is an honor….  but yes, sometimes it is also a sacrifice.

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6 thoughts on “Just Break My Heart…

  1. Know that your husband is doing a good thing, and try to find some comfort in that. When Little Miss is older you can explain why daddy had to be away.

    Baby is sick this week and more needy than usual. For the first time she held her arms up to be hugged. Wow.
    I think mom could see me comfort her like she conforted me for so many years.

  2. Oh, I’m glad you were able to give her the shirt. It made me sad too. You’re right though, we focus on all the positive milestones and some of them may not be that positive but they’re still there. I may have missed when he’s due back, I hope it’s soon.

  3. Val, I’m so sorry. I know how bad it hurts to watch your child miss Daddy. Really heart-breaking. I know *someone* has to do their job, but most days I feel like whining, “Why him????” Makes me feel better, anyway, to take a moment to whine.

    I hope your husband is due home soon and that Little Miss has plenty of opportunity to enjoy her daddy before he has to leave again.

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