I have been filled with absolute dread–with a rock of dismay in my stomach. I’ve been trying not to think about it, but finding it constantly in the background of all of my thoughts.
Husband has a detachment scheduled this week. I’m not ready even for two weeks of doing this again. The girls aren’t ready. I’m overwhelmed and feel entirely unprepared to go this all alone again. Only two weeks. I can do two weeks, but still.
Husband has been on leave this week, and we were on vacation. We were away from the world in a little Inn with no phones in the room and no cell phone service. He called this evening to touch base and find out when he and the rest of the squadron would be leaving.
I heard him say, “You’re kidding me,” and at first I was scared they’d left and no one had called or left a message and he was going to be in for a world of trouble. Then I was afraid something else had gone wrong. But I listened to the timber of his voice, and I heard him promise the guy he was talking to that I’d be so happy that he’d delivered such news that I’d bake him a couple dozen cookies.
They’re not going.
This time around we’re lucky.
And we get to do our family things for Halloween. We’ll get to entertain our company next weekend together. He’ll be laying beside me for these next two weeks. I’ll have him here to lean on for these days when I think I’m going to come unravelled.
And I am so thankful.
I know it’s unusual. I know it’s a blessing. I know I can’t take this for granted.
I needed this….
I’m going to go sink down beside the man that I love now, look at him with all the love in my heart and thank God for this extra little blessing that I so very much needed… Two weeks that we didn’t think we’d have together. Together.