Well ‘The Day’ is over. And I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.
We woke up early for VBS and I got Baboo all dressed up in a little red and white outfit with ladybug shoes—Mom’s favorite outfit from when Little Miss and I were with her. Before we left, we listened to Mom’s favorite song–“Peter’s Memories” written and performed by her brother, Ken. We went to VBS and I did my best not to let the little bit of raincloud I had hovering with me effect how I interacted with the kids.
Finally VBS was over and the fun could begin. We went to Safeway and picked up 1 dozen yellow roses (my Mom flower) and a half dozen sunflowers, and headed out of town. Along the way, we picked up my good friend, Jamie, who also lost her mother to Lung Cancer. We took off for another Island town, and stopped at McDonald’s. I had a ball going in by myself and ordering 15 milkshakes–5 chocolate, 5 vanilla, and 5 strawberry. Yes, the employees thought I was crazy. It was fabulous.
We then took the flowers and the milkshakes to the local cancer center. We schlepped the goodies in and got directions to the infusion room. Much to the suprise of the folks there, we dropped everything off for the folks there for treatment. I can’t begin to tell you how fun it was. The room lit up at the mention of the word ‘milkshakes.’ I had to run out and get the flowers, but Jamie tells me several of the patients there latched onto their shakes and thoroughly revelled in them.
We caught lunch at my favorite little diner and grabbed some dessert at a little French bakery.
This evening, I attended a Women’s Bible Study that I’ve begun going to. That ended up being the hardest part of the day. I brought Baboo with me and there was much talk about the delight of ‘being a Grandma.’ It was hard for that not to sting a little.
But overall, I’m happy about how the day turned out. It could have been full of gloominess. Instead, I looked forward to the things I had planned. I could have sat around thinking all day about the sadness of losing Mom. I could have simply dwelled upon her death. Instead, I chose to celebrate her.
I felt so happy for most of the day. I was happy for the woman that Mom was. I was happy for the chance to ‘pay forward’ a little bit of the love she gave me. I was proud that I turned the grief into something positive and made it an outward force of good instead of an inward force of emptiness. It sounds like such a little thing, and it is really. I in no way want to ‘toot my own horn.’ And it’s not like this is some huge ‘epiphany’ moment for me. I did something very similar last year.
It’s just that it was such an enjoyable day. AIt was a day where I could feel Mom’s smile and almost hear her laugh ring out just a little bit
I hope Mom is proud. I think she might be.