Messing up one’s back to the point of barely being able to walk can teach one many lessons. So can being really freaking pregnant (even the second time around). So for today, whilst I hope and wait for this baby to get here, these are some things that I have learned and relearned lately.
1) My husband really does love me deeply and means it when he says he would do anything for me (including helping me dress, helping me get out of bed, helping me get onto and off of the table for my 39 week exam while I sobbed at the pain I was in and my inability to move in the ways I needed to, doing laundry and dishes over and over again).
2) It sucks to feel helpless. To be in pain and unable to move and to hurt at the slightest movement is enough to undo me. To be all that with a two year old is even harder…. It made me think of my Mom and how she must have felt all the time the months I was with her. Gave me some perspective.
3) I do not like feeling that vulnerable and helpless. It is hard. I am indeed very independent. I am also apparently prideful. I have an immense amount of respect for those dealing with chronic pain and chronic illness.
4) It is ok for me to set boundaries when it comes to my emotions, even in situations where it seems more ‘polite’ or ‘socially acceptable’ not to.
5) If you ask for opinions about a vulnerable topic, you better be ready to get opinions about a vulnerable topic.
6) Grief can still smack me upside the head in an amazing way.
7) I still want my Mommy when I’m in pain.
8) I really want my Mommy when I’m in pain and about to pop with child.
9) Little Miss is in love with her Pa-pa.
10) You should not plan on sitting on a birth ball to promote an open pelvis near the end of one’s pregnancy without knowing if you will be physically able to sit on said birth ball.
11) There are worse ways of getting around than waddling.
12) Tylenol with Codeine is a miracle drug.
13) Naps *are* important.
14) Patience is not my strong-suit.
15) I am not a fan of constantly wondering if “today is the day for baby.”
16) All of life seems new again when one’s pain is under control and one regains lost mobility. Even if it’s only been a few days of hobbling.
17) Babies have their own time-table and are not particularly receptive to suggestions, despite the plethora of suggestions offered by all around me.
18) It is indeed possible to record a greeting on our answering machine. We’ve had it for a year now…. don’t I feel bright?
19) Snuggling with my daughter is incredibly important to me. Not being able to scoop her up is terrible…. But it is good to remember what a privelege it is.
20) I do like rhododendrons (I never thought I did).
I guess that’s enough for now.