So Here I Am… Probably a bit random

The Trip

We’re back from Texas, and it was really an incredibly good trip.  It was so nice to travel *with* my husband and *without* an emergency.  All of our family members  managed to stay in good health and in one piece over the holidays.  Gotta love that.  Three cheers for a crisis free, truly happy holiday.

What can I tell you about the trip?  Husband and I both learned a lot of really important things about his family, and I love them all even more than I did when we arrived last week.  Through learning about them, I learned about me, and as a result I hope that I will grow in my role as wife and mother…. 

Highlight for me (other than the good bonding stuff):  NASA.  Oh. my. gosh.  I saw THE REAL Mission Control.  I saw SALLY RIDE’S flight suit.  I walked (waddled) around a Saturn V rocket.  And I LOVED EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT.  Seriously–there were the four kids running around crazy and excited, and then there was ME.  Five minutes of reading those beautiful acronyms and I was pretending I knew the lingo again.  Great stuff….  And yes, my head is in the stars again–no better place for it to be.

Highlight for Little Miss:  “Fish!  Fish!”  We visited an aquarium and she was surrounded by beautiful swimming creatures and just absolutely fascinated.  The place was great for little ones her size–the tanks reached the floor so she could see too!  She ran around on her little feet and looked at everything she could.  And she even got to touch a hermit crab!

For the record, the flights went ok.  I mean, they were worth worrying about.  They weren’t easy.   But they were doable.

And now we are home, catching up on laundry, doing odds and ends around the house, and enjoying just a couple more beautiful days of leave.

The News

The day after we got back we had our ultrasound and got to see Beanie on a screenie again.  Though…  Beanie is far from beanie-like now.

The tech informed us with fairly solid confidence that Little Miss will be a big sister to a Little Sister in May….. 

Now the next question one invariably gets when telling the world that “It’s a girl,” is “What names do you have picked out?”  I don’t tell names.  I just don’t.  But Mom named Little Miss “Ethel” whilst she was still a wombling, and I have decided in that grand tradition this little girl’s womb-name will be “Ingrid.” 

Incidentally, she is a busy and strong little girl.  When the tech tried to get a good measurement of her femur bone, she gave him quite a “Fwack.”  And she rolled constantly while he was trying to get good still shots of her little spine.  It was fun to get a visual for some of the antics I can feel her up to in my belly all the time.  Also, I can tell that she is beautiful.  Her face is wider than Carolyn’s….  and already looks a little bit baby squishy, I think.  Also, she likes to rest on her arm.  Wish I could do an ultrasund every day! 

More News

The year is looking to shape up to be a full one.  Time to say good-bye to the lovely boringness of the last part of 2006 and hello to more hustle-bustle.  But mostly the good kind.  In March my Daddy will be getting married.  And, I get to be the Matron of Honor.  How cool is that?  I asked to be the best man, but I guess they thought that balked at tradition a bit too much.  😉  So now I need to find a dress to compliment my curvy pregnant body (the only time in my life that I really love my curves).  We’re looking forward to being in Illinois, and I’m all aflutter with girly wedding plans.  I think Daddy and his lovely fiancee are probably going to get a little sick of *my* aflutterness since this is *their* wedding…  but, I just can’t help myself.

The Remembrance

Today is my Grandpa Wherry’s birthday.  I will drink an A&W Root-beer in his honor (always our special treat when I went to visit their house when I was little), and also eat some MilkMaid candies (always prevelent at Grandma and Grandpa’s) if we get back into town to get them.  I miss his stories, the sparkle in his eyes….  The way he would say, “Yeess!” usually when he was humoring my grand-daughterly chatter, and… him in general.

The Head Stuff

I’ve been in a weird headspace since getting back from the trip.  Maybe it’s coming off of the climax of the holidays…  Maybe it’s the vacuum that we feel from going from high-speed family on vacation to….  Home with nothing to do but several loads of laundry.  Whatever.  I’m quiet, and thinkative, and anxious about things to come.

I never got particularly anxious about New Years until Mom got sick.  I didn’t see that one coming, and when it did….  Well, it put a whole new spin on the idea of expecting the unexpected.  The year of her illness and death were so full….  And at first all I thought we had on the horizon was a baby on the way and a deployment and uncertainty of my husband being around for the birth and such.  Then the really big stuff happened and life didn’t play out at all like I expected.

So…  As things begin to fill….  As the dates that Husband will be out and back and out and back and out again begin to solidify…  As we wonder about the probable deployment (a “short” one as deployments go)…  As I stare at Dad’s wedding, and my due date and wonder what will happen… I get anxious.  I get scared.  I wonder what it is that might come to us that we’re not expecting.  It’s just part of the new normal that comes when you realize that life isn’t as straight a line as you thought.  I wouldn’t want life to be that way, but it does cause me anxiety.

So it’s time to pull out my quote….  My reminder:

“I said to the man who stood at the gate of a year, “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”  He replied, “Go out into the darkness and put thine hand into the hand of God.  It shall be to thee better than a light, and safer than a known way.”  –M. Louise Haskins

I’m not looking forward to the deployment, or to the weeks and months of detachments and work-ups, but we’ll get through them.  I’m anxious about Husband being here for the birth again…  I *think* he is squeduled to be here over the due date but he will just be getting back from a det.  We’ll see how things go….  No matter what, well…  I’ll get through it.  Because I haven’t not gotten through anything yet. 

I’ve also felt really weird about telling the world that this baby is a girl.  I know that there were a few people who were pulling for this one to be a boy, and I had the ridiculous reaction, whilst still laying with goop on my belly, of worrying that we were disappointing people.  I’m really excited.  I want other people to be too.

Also….  I really, really wish I could tell my Mom about her.  I wish she was giving her a womb-name instead of me…  And I wish she was here to balance out my Dad’s ever sedate reaction to the news of her gender–He said, “Ok,”– with her giddy grandma  excitement.  This is a normal sort of missing, but it changes the quality of telling other people.

But…  I AM excited.  I’m loving using her womb-name with other people, and her name-name with Husband and Little Miss.  I love knowing a little more about her.  I love feeling that much closer to her.  I love calling her ‘her.’  And….  I love the anticipation of meeting her.

So there’s the update!

So….  Now I guess I feel caught up in my blogginess.  Happy New Year to one and all.


6 thoughts on “So Here I Am… Probably a bit random

  1. YAY for baby girl! We love babies, no matter the gender. They are all so very precious. Good luck with the remaining 20 (or fewer) weeks. You are all in our prayers.

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