Rampant Anxiety

So I guess you can tell when you’re unwinding out of ‘crisis mode’ when once again things that don’t matter take up most of the space in your brain and most of the anxious molecules of your body.

Or not…  since I can stress out about finding a parking spot even in the very worst of circumstances….

Anyway, we leave tomorrow to visit Husband’s family in Texas.  We’re very excited about seeing family–especially since this will be about the longest Husband has gotten to spend with his family since the whole Navy game began.  I’m excited about the trip as well–about seeing people, and watching Little Miss play with her cousins, and doing the sight-seeing that is tentatively planned.

BUT….  We have to GET THERE first. 

We’ve got a 4+hour flight with Little Miss as a lap infant.  A large part of my brain is demanding, “What in the world were you thinking?!”  The rest of my brain says, “Oh get a life!  We didn’t have the money for the TWO tickets we did buy!”

I’m working throuch melt-down contigencies.  Trying to figure out how to avoid meltdowns.  Considering buying earplugs for others on the plane….  Thinking about what  small, packable, noiseless toys might be the most entertaining. 

And that’s not even even mentioning the worry that I have about whether or not this kid is going to sleep once we actually get there.

I’m anxious about what to pack–Pack-n-play….  Booster Seat….  Car Seat….  Sippie Cups…  Snacks….  Toys…..  Diapers….  So many things to forget.  So many things to lose.

I’m anxious about getting to the airport.  I’m anxious about paying for parking.  I’m anxious about putting our first payment on the credit card to pay for this trip, Husband’s car repairs, and Christmas–even with the hugely generous help that we’ve been given from our family to even make this trip possible.

Husband wakes up for work before 6 a.m.  I usually stay warmly tucked in bed until Little Miss needs me.  This morning I was up with husband shaking with anxiety about packing, cleaning, shopping for dollar items to entertain Little Miss, doing banking, and getting the rest of the laundry done.

The stupid thing is, I know it’s small potatoes.  I know one way or another we will get there and back.  I know that there are hundreds of little things that I’m not even thinking of that could make this trip more than interesting and really give me reason for anxiety.  I know that even with most of those little things, we’ll still get there and get back and see our family and that is what is most important.  But still I stew over these minor details. 

It’s frustrating to know what’s really important in life….  What is really worth stressing over.

And to stress out anyway.

Here we go, though.  I’m off to organize and pack and clean and worry several times over, get through the plane ride with a squirmle on our laps, and enjoy Husband’s wonderful family. 

And when I come back maybe I’ll tell you all about it.  Unless I’ve found something else to stress over in the meantime. 


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