I realized today… that I’m really becoming churchy.
It’s kind of scary for me really… I’m starting to spend a lot of time in that building.
Right now I’m in a small group, and two different classes affiliated with the church. One class is about the history of Christianity–Really good stuff on the foundations of the church, the changes over the centuries, etc. etc. Like… parts of my High School Western Civ. class, plus parts of my college Bible and Culture class combined and focused.
I’ve just started a ‘read the whole Bible in 8 months’ sort of Bible Study. It’s kind of the study that everybody in our church does–so much so that people ask you, “Have you done the red book, yet?” It took me a while to get that the church wasn’t advocating the study of a slightly smutty women’s magazine. But no–really, it’s a Bible Study.
And on top of all that I’m the nursery worker for the Saturday night service, the back-up for the other services and functions, as well as an attendee of our regular services. PLUS I attend the all-church meal many Wednesdays after the history of Christianity class. AND we’re now being integrated into the ‘greeters’ cycle. Yes–non-outgoing husband and me will be handing out bulletin’s, shaking hands, and saying, “Welcome!” every 9th Sunday or some such thing.
See… Pretty. Darned. Churchy.
The thing is… While I’m excited about the opportunities this provides I wonder if this is altogether ‘good.’ I mean… what good is it to be a Christian and glean all this good stuff if I stay holed up in the four walls of the church all the time? Most of our closer friends here aren’t really so into the churchy scene, and I guess that makes me feel a little more balanced. I have just become so disenfranchised with the notion of being ‘separate’ from ‘the scary world’ that when I start to feel over-involved at church I feel guilty again… for not really loving and being involved with all people as I should. It’s not so much that I hope to ‘evangelize.’ I just want to be able to love people…. all people… whether they are ‘churchy’ or not.
Not to mention the fact that I worry about Carolyn not getting enough of her OWN social activities. I’m also hoping to start walking with a couple of other Mommy’s and that has it’s own “Park time with the kiddos” aspect built in… Also, the nursery provides her with other kids to play with when she is there… But shouldn’t I be doing a Mommy and Me swimming class or going to a public library to sing children’s songs with her or something. Shouldn’t part of the programming be HER oriented?
I imagine this is simply a season… And I hope that I will be able to maintain some balance–as well as my positive non-churchy attributes, whatever those may be.
We shall see… just how churchified I may become.