Comments on: The On and Off Switch of Military Marriage http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/ Stubbing my toes on Holy. Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:17:48 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Rachel http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5721 Rachel Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:04:09 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5721 I know I am late in posting to this, but I just found it while I was doing some "googling". My husband has been gone for 6 months, and the communication has been minimal for 5 of those. We have another 3 before R&R even arrives. I've described myself to others as being in "survival" mode, but haven't really been able to verbalize it very well. I think you summed it up nicely here. Thank you for that. I know I am late in posting to this, but I just found it while I was doing some “googling”. My husband has been gone for 6 months, and the communication has been minimal for 5 of those. We have another 3 before R&R even arrives. I’ve described myself to others as being in “survival” mode, but haven’t really been able to verbalize it very well. I think you summed it up nicely here. Thank you for that.

]]> By: Steph http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5631 Steph Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:54:02 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5631 Val, I was looking for someone who could maybe explain to me what was happening to my relationship (I'm engaged to a military man). This helped... How do you know it's worth it? Val,
I was looking for someone who could maybe explain to me what was happening to my relationship (I’m engaged to a military man). This helped… How do you know it’s worth it?

]]> By: halfmyheart http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5511 halfmyheart Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:03:58 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5511 I hope you print this out and keep it in a safe place. It is amazing how long it takes to get that switch to turn back on when they've been gone for an extended amount of time. It took me over 3 months this last time to get used to him being around again. I'm praying for you. I hope you print this out and keep it in a safe place. It is amazing how long it takes to get that switch to turn back on when they’ve been gone for an extended amount of time. It took me over 3 months this last time to get used to him being around again. I’m praying for you.

]]> By: Kimberly http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5501 Kimberly Fri, 18 Apr 2008 11:42:34 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5501 I read this post and finally felt like my worries about next year when he comes home aren't stupid. The on and off of it is that I'm scared to death one or both of us will be so used to off that being together won't work anymore and feeling that way, makes me go even deeper into off so that it won't hurt so bad then. Thank you for putting into words what I didn't fully understand about what was happening to me. But you sound very together and rooted in a solid faith and I hope everything works out in the "on" of life for you! I read this post and finally felt like my worries about next year when he comes home aren’t stupid. The on and off of it is that I’m scared to death one or both of us will be so used to off that being together won’t work anymore and feeling that way, makes me go even deeper into off so that it won’t hurt so bad then. Thank you for putting into words what I didn’t fully understand about what was happening to me. But you sound very together and rooted in a solid faith and I hope everything works out in the “on” of life for you!

]]> By: Tania http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5479 Tania Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:06:07 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5479 This post really touched me. I found your blog while searching for military-related blogs. My husband is deployed now and is due back home March 2009. While I don't have kids, I can understand how you're feeling, because I'm going through it too! It's hard for me to express how I'm feeling and dealing to other people, but you did it beautifully. Much better than my last post (freak-out post!) This post really touched me. I found your blog while searching for military-related blogs. My husband is deployed now and is due back home March 2009. While I don’t have kids, I can understand how you’re feeling, because I’m going through it too! It’s hard for me to express how I’m feeling and dealing to other people, but you did it beautifully. Much better than my last post (freak-out post!)

]]> By: Jenny http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5478 Jenny Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:33:34 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5478 Val, this is a great post. I read the entire thing nodding my head, "yes." The request for specific prayer is perfectly stated. Thanks for the effort you put into posting this! Val, this is a great post. I read the entire thing nodding my head, “yes.” The request for specific prayer is perfectly stated. Thanks for the effort you put into posting this!

]]> By: Annie http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5476 Annie Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:17:20 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5476 You described the on/off thing very well. Much better than I've ever seen it described before. I'll be honest, I'm glad those on/off switches are over for us but that doesn't mean that I don't think about you and everyone else who has to deal with this still. You described the on/off thing very well. Much better than I’ve ever seen it described before. I’ll be honest, I’m glad those on/off switches are over for us but that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about you and everyone else who has to deal with this still.

]]> By: Mich http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5466 Mich Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:58:59 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5466 Val, I'll say it again; how did you get to be so wise at such a young age? My prayers are with you and your family and most certainly not in a pitying way. Val, I’ll say it again; how did you get to be so wise at such a young age? My prayers are with you and your family and most certainly not in a pitying way.

]]> By: Crista http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5465 Crista Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:19:41 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5465 Hubby's on-off switch is easy to flip and mine is SOOooo not. I really struggled with this new job of his. 18 TDY trips in 5 months, home only 3-4 days a month but only 1-2 days of no work each month. It's brutal. It took me a good 4 months to find my routine and learn to deal with this. It's tough, that's for sure. *hugs* Hubby’s on-off switch is easy to flip and mine is SOOooo not. I really struggled with this new job of his. 18 TDY trips in 5 months, home only 3-4 days a month but only 1-2 days of no work each month. It’s brutal. It took me a good 4 months to find my routine and learn to deal with this. It’s tough, that’s for sure.

*hugs*

]]> By: childlife http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-on-and-off-switch-of-military-marriage/#comment-5464 childlife Tue, 01 Apr 2008 03:19:38 +0000 http://digtoesin.wordpress.com/?p=322#comment-5464 Val~ This is such a powerful, honest, and courageous post. I've told you before that I cannot even fathom what you go through... this post gave me a tiny glimpse of it. The only thing I can liken it to in my own life is the 25 surgeries our daughter has gone through, some of them life threatening. My husband and I had a 'switch' for this part of our lives... a way to cope with the pain of knowing we might never see her again. The surgeries became this routine and I felt, numb, numb, numb. When I didn't feel numb, I would cry and feel like a horrible mother... because there was this disconnected feeling and I knew it wasn't normal... not the ideal. So I would take shelter in the numbness. A year with no surgeries and I'm still trying to thaw out. But I am thawing out... and I believe with all my heart that you will too, because I see here how much you love your husband, and how much he loves you too. And I will pray. Real heartfelt prayers for you and your husband and family. Prayers of the variety I would pray for my own family. Prayer is no small thing in our family, and I hope you can believe that I'm not just saying this as an empty promise. I mean it. I'm praying with my whole heart for you and yours... for your navy friends and their families as they struggle with this same hardship. So hold on, Val. I'm praying. Val~ This is such a powerful, honest, and courageous post. I’ve told you before that I cannot even fathom what you go through… this post gave me a tiny glimpse of it. The only thing I can liken it to in my own life is the 25 surgeries our daughter has gone through, some of them life threatening. My husband and I had a ’switch’ for this part of our lives… a way to cope with the pain of knowing we might never see her again. The surgeries became this routine and I felt, numb, numb, numb. When I didn’t feel numb, I would cry and feel like a horrible mother… because there was this disconnected feeling and I knew it wasn’t normal… not the ideal. So I would take shelter in the numbness. A year with no surgeries and I’m still trying to thaw out. But I am thawing out… and I believe with all my heart that you will too, because I see here how much you love your husband, and how much he loves you too. And I will pray. Real heartfelt prayers for you and your husband and family. Prayers of the variety I would pray for my own family. Prayer is no small thing in our family, and I hope you can believe that I’m not just saying this as an empty promise. I mean it. I’m praying with my whole heart for you and yours… for your navy friends and their families as they struggle with this same hardship. So hold on, Val. I’m praying.

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